If.

If there is a night with nothing left to do. Work is
finished, all things are done.

If there is a night I can go to bed early. Early enough
to get as much sleep as my body demands. Not as
late as most nights before, tired to the bone, when
sleep didn't came to you as a lover but as a fist that
simply knocked out your consciousness. When you
fell asleep like hit by a stone.

If I can have a rest so that I won't be drained at my
presentation tomorrow morning, short past 6.

Then.

Then I will not be able to sleep. Then I will lay
awake and think about what I lost.

Then I can get no sleep, but "see" my thoughts
dancing in circles. Around Things I would like to
(forget?) (miss?) (change?)

Then there is insomnia.

With insomnia comes insanity.

Will you come with me? Come and join my ride?

You just left the land of the sane and you will enter
the paradise of the insane soon. Or as they told me
in another world and another when:

Buckle your Seatbelt Dorothy, 'cause Kansas is
going bye-bye.

And so we fly on. Leaving Kansas - for no good.

Und all das wird niemals passieren - vergessen scheint unmöglich - ändern wohl auch - verdrängen vielleicht, für eine kurze Zeit.. und doch wieder die Erkenntnis - mit seinen Fehlern muss man leben - mit den eigenen Entscheidungen zurechtkommen - mit ihnen Leben!
Kannst du das nicht, macht es das Leben weniger lebenswert - und doch geht es immer weiter..

Looking forward for a new day to come..